Surely the lady doth protest too much

March 5, 2007 12:05am

While looking for craigslist.com I came across a pornographic site at craiglist.com. In my head I heard a girl’s voice. Someone who had told me how they were innocently searching for something and the same thing happened to them. I was so sad, “Not!” and so moved, “Not!” What kind of species are we people? We are shamed and embarrassed by the very act that started every life? How can we even stand to look at each other if we are so offended by sex, since every single person is the result of a confirmed act of sex!
I must admit that the problem lies with me as well. My immediate and extended family and some of those before us, has been one of the most conservative group of people on that issue that I know. On my father’s side, not so much, but then I never spent much time with them growing up.
The result is that honestly though I’m quite interested in sex and things sexual as any normal human being, I’m rather gun shy. 
No, I can talk until I’m blue in the face to most females but not about sex and things sexual or about feelings and all that mush which I presume is typical. But to be honest I think my big problem is thinking that I’ll end up trapped in a “relationship” which is why I’ve kept my distance from many females.
I never see the circumstances ending well. Either she’ll want so much of my time that I’ll get fed up and have to break it off  or suffer in silence or I’ll be bored and have to make up an excuse to break up or worse try to tell the truth. Or hopefully she’ll break up with me but then I may feel jilted and I’ll need another relationship to get over that one.
So I guess I really don’t have a “fear of intimacy” after all and it isn’t the poor example of long term relationships that has kept me single. It’s a fear of commitment. Now that I can live with lol!  Yeah I’m okay with being a “commitmentophobe” cause that has pretty much shaped my life already especially since I’m mainly commitment phobic about people. Having a person in one’s life is like having a television without an off button or a way to change the channel!?? When you like the program everything is groovy, when you don’t, well there’s that thing about not being able to change the channel or turn it off.
Then there’s the electricity for this television that doesn’t turn off. Hopefully you like most of the channels because the electricity bill keeps coming and it’s usually much more expensive that a normal television with a remote.
And even if you like all the channels, truth be told watching lots of television doesn’t help your relationship with the other people you’re close to, or make you rich or make you smarter but it is real comfortable though, that is definitely the truth. It’s like a sedative, people you don’t know very well are happy to be around you because you’re so mellow at first.
Isn’t it funny how this has nothing to do with the title or about being ashamed of sex? The Simpsons is just like that. I remember this episode that started out with Bart learning how to use a yoyo and ending up with Bart pretending to be his teacher’s lost love who I believe she never meets. And I love the Simpsons so I am pleased to follow in their footsteps lol.